Disclaimer: OK, you know the drill... The Power Rangers are not mine, but the Power People are and so are the characters, parodized and others. Kenny is copyrighted to South Park. This is an early third-season episode, OK? Songs by the Mighty WRONG are parodized songs by the Mighty RAW, OK? {CC} (not that THAT matters) Gourmet Night Presesnts... POST-PSYCHADELIC POWER PEOPLE "Keep a Blue Face" [Pan over Angular grove, which is actually either Japan or Valencia, it's really kinda hard to tell, OK?] Narrator: Angular Grove, California. Seems like a normal place, right? Well, guess again. Not only is this happy stupid place the home of the Kimono Power People, but the people are stupid. Deadly stupid, for underneath the fair city lurks... a volcano. Gourmet Night: OK, that's it! I TOLD you, we are NOT having a volcano in this episode! You're fired. Narrator: Fine. [Angular Grove Park, where Hulk and Dull are on junior police duty, OK?] Hulk: Will you cut out the "OK"s? [Sorry.] Dull: Don't be so hard on the guy. Hulk: Well, here we are on junior police duty. Dull: When did it become our civic duties to get hot dogs and just stand around? Hulk: Don't ruin this. [The Flangoes teleport in and start bawking.] Hulk: OK, I would think that this would be a good time to be brave and fend off these evil things by ourselves and show that we are not as pathetic as people say. Dull: Or we could scream like girls. Hulk: I hate that option. --- [Another area of the park, where the seven Power People are just also standing around, reading or something.] Chris: I am unusually bored. Alicia: Well, nothing else to do. I just wish that SOMETHING would happen. [Suddenly, without warning, Hulk and Dull's girly shrieking is heard.] Adam: That was kind of early. Timmy (who until now has been near the back making out with Kimberly, and who both look real frazzled because they had too much coffee right before filming): OK, Rangers, let's go to action. Kimono Power Now! [The Rangers morph into Kimono Ninja mode and start fighting off the Flangoes.] Timmy: Let's go, guys! Ugly birdies pootie in the sky Lands in your hair and you want to die Children point at you and start to cry Watch that flangoe watch that flangoe Flangoe Bye Bye! [The Rangers fend off the Flangoes, with Timmy and Kimberly going at it really fast (due to the caffienne they had taken in). Chris tries to jump-kick a flangoe and lands in a tree, snapping the branch which lands on the flangoes. The others do the same usual stuff. Soon the flangoes go Bye Bye, just as the song said.] Chris: This might leave some marks. Timmy (to Hulk and Dull): You guys OK? Hulk: Yeah... Rocky: OK, let's get out of here. Billy: What's the rush? Rocky: I'm hot. [The rangers teleport out.] Dull: Nice to have an early fight scene, isn't it? Hulk: Like having lunch at ten in the morning. --- [At Bernie's Youth Hostel, the rangers (unmorphed, because otherwise, it would look kinda wierd) lounge. Except for Kimberly and Timmy, they are still making out in the corridor, much to the annoyance of everyone else who comes in.] Billy: I'm thirsty. Chris: ... ... ... Well, get something to drink. Billy: ... ... ... Good idea! [Billy inserts a coin (actually his Power Coin) into the coke machine to get a liquid beverage.] Billy: How come the narrator's using complex terms now? [Because otherwise it would look bland.] Billy: Oh. --- [On the moonbase, Lord Zepplin is watching these events unfold through his red visor-thingie that he has.] Zepplin: That's it! Tito: What? Zepplin: That fool Billy has just given away his very important power coin, thus lessening the ranger team, and also making it so they cannot combine to form Kimono MegaZord! Rhetta: What does the megazord have to do with anything? Zepplin: I think we've gotten to the point in this series where the Ranger's zords are much more important than the actaul Rangers themselves. Goldinski: It's kinda like Voltron in that matter. Rhetta: He's right. Zepplin: I'll have Finkster make me a monster for me, but I also need something else that's really big and really really COOL for this, seeing as we hardly ever do original episodes. [How about a volcano?] Zepplin: Good idea! Gourmet Night: Something tells me that I've lost all control over this series. Tito: Yeah, it's true. Gourmet Night: At least I can still fall back onto Virtuoso Troopers. Jean-Christophe Karim: No, you can't. --- [Youth Hostel.] Kenny: Mmm-mmm mmm mmm mmm? Alicia: Yeah, what's the kjdfbfsdmknfblsak? Kenny: M mmmmmmmm mmm. Chris: That's what I thought. [The communicators beep.] Kenny: MMM mmm mmm m? Rocky: You've got the damage in the brain. See what happens when you don't get a haircut? Kenny: MMM mmm mm mmm m. Billy: You'll never catch on. [The Rangers head into the corridor, thus interrupting Timmy and Kimberly.] Timmy: What NOW? Chris: The call. Adam: He must be the only one even remotely interested in saving our series. Timmy (into communicator): OK, heady, I have waited FOREVER and drank 18 cups of coffee so I could make out with Kim, so WHAT DO YOU WANT? Zorkon: Teleport to the Command Centre. Timmy: Make me. Zorkon: Don't intimidate me, little man. [The rangers teleport away.] --- [Command centre...] Chris: What's going on here? Zorkon: I am afraid that a great threat is coming upon us and you may be the only line of defense against the upcoming traumas that the world will face. Beta: Aye yi yi! Zorkon: Did any of you catch that? Timmy: Not a word. Zorkon: OK, down to business, first, I am very... Billy! Why are you semi-transparent and floating in the air? [The Rangers turn around to see a semi-transparent Billy floating halfway into the air.] Billy: I'm DEAD! I'M DEAD! Chris: Oh my god! They killed Billy! You bastards! Zorkon: He's not dead, this is just the sort of thing that happens when you teleport to the Command centre without your power coins. Billy: I don't have my power coins? What happenned to it? Timmy: Knowing our writersm, it would probably have appeared in front of Hulk and he'd get your powers for a day or something lame like that. Gourmet Night: You're wrong. It just so happens that Billy thought it was a quarter and used it for a drink. Billy: It would explain why everything I tasted afterwards tasted exactly like radioactive toxic poison. Zorkon: Yes it would. Beta: Aye yi yi! What are we going to do without a Blue-Faced ranger? there's no way we can form megazord! Billy: Is the sole purpose of the Power People now just to install Megazord? Chris: My guess would be yes. Zorkon: Chris, you must assist Billy in finding his Power Coin. Chris: Why do I have to do all the dirty stuff? Zorkon: It involves smashing a vending machine with a hammer. Chris: Cool! I'm in! [The alarms blare and sound like heck.] Zorkon: Rangers! Zepplin has sent down Squinty, the near-sighted behemoth. You must go into battle against him. Timmy: Sounds like fun. I'm there! It's Post-Psychadelic Period! Timmy: White-Bread Ranger Power ! [ Shak ! ] Adam: Black Hole ranger Power ! [ Shak ! ] Kimberly: Pinkthinkpinkthinkpink... Zorkon: Too much caffiene... Kimberly: I've got it! Think Pink Ranger Power ! [ Shak ! ] Alicia: Yellow-Bellied Ranger Power ! [ Shak ! ] Rocky: Red Neck Ranger Power ! [ Shak ! ] [The five appear in the park (where else) and pose.] All: Power People! Timmy: OK, I'm shaking in my boots but I'm not scared. Squinty: Waldo, is that you, my boy? Kimberly: Go! [Kimberly goes into major anime-style attacking, literally beating this guy to a pulp, but not hurting him.] Rocky: OK, this might cause a problem later on... --- [Youth Hostel.] Chris: This one? Billy: No. Chris: This one? Billy: No. Chris: This one? Billy: No. Chris: This one? Billy: Lemme see... No. Chris: This one? Billy: Yes. Chris: really? Billy: No. --- [At the park, the Power People watch as Squinty walks into trees and stuff in a desperate attempt to escape, which is not helped by the fact that he has very tiny feet and thusly runs like an ant.] (Zorkon): How come you guys aren't doing anything? Timmy: This is just too much fun to watch. Adam: Though we might want to do something about Kimberly, she's threatening to rip out my aorta. (Zorkon): No time for that now, my sensors are detecting seismic activity. Alicia: What? (Beta): A volcano. Timmy: Oh, is that it? (Zorkon): This is SERIOUS, you guys! Timmy: OK, you tell Chris and Billy to hurry up, and we'll fend the volcano off with the zords. (Zorkon): How are you going to fend off a volcano? Timmy: I'll figure that out later. (Beta): This is rarely a good sign. Timmy: We need Kimono Zord Power Now! [The five zords appear in the streets of Japa-- Angular Grove. The rangers appear in their wonderfully cardboard control rooms.] Rocky: Tape Kimono Zord, power up! Alicia: Ferret Kimono Zord, power up! Kimberly: Stain Kimono Zord, power up! Adam: Slug Kimono Zord, power up! Timmy: White ScallionZord, power up! [The zords pose in action (kinda hard, considering the fact half of them are inanimate objects.] --- [Zepplin's palace.] Zepplin: It's time to show those rangers once and for all! Volcano, go! --- [In Angular Grove, the volcano begins to form and lava spews out.] Timmy: Great garbage! A volcano! Adam: Didn't we already know about that thing? Timmy: Oh, yeah. We need Tinjor! [Tinjor arrives on his wonderfully dense cloud and lands straight in a path of lava.] Tinjor: Aaah! Hot foot hot foot! Kimberly: This might not be such a wonderful day for us. Rocky: Chris, Billy, hurry up! --- [In the Youth Hostel, Billy and Chris are still looking.] Chris: This one? Billy: No. Chris: This one? Billy: No. Chris: This one? Billy: No. Chris: I am going to destroy this thing with a very large sledgehammer. [Chris takes out a large and unexplained sledgehammer from some secret hiding spot and hammers the machine once. He raises the hammer again, but the concrete part flys off and squishs Kenny.] Bernie: Oh my god, they-- Aww, you know! Chris: OK, Bill, we're out of options. I think I should just head in for the battle and you just unexpainedly find your coin. Gourmet Night: That was the plan. Chris: OK! Chris: Purple-Urpel Ranger Power ! --- [The zords are atop of buildings, zapping the volcano with their lasers while Stupid-Tinjor jumps around in pain.] Tinjor: ! [Suddenly, the Blank Kimono Zord appears on the scene.] Chris: Hey, guys, what's going AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! [The Blank Zord is bathed in lava.] Chris: OK, I had actually not expected that to happen. Alicia: Chris, are you OK? Chris: That felt kinda cool. Timmy: if only we could transform into Megazord, then we could finish this thing! Rocky: OK, what IS IT with our specific need to form Megazord just to beat this thing? Timmy: You'll see. We just need Billy! [Unexpalianedly, Billy arrives in his Golf Zord.] Kimberly: Billy! How did you get here? Billy: I decided that it would be better to just stuff all 800 coins into my morpher at once to see if one of them was my coin. On another note, my belt waieghs 400 pounds for some reason. Timmy: Tell us later, it's time for... Others (dully): We know, we know, Kimono megazord combine now... Timmy: Something tells me you guys aren't to fond of this, are you? [The Golf and Blank zord go onto either sides of the Tape zord as the Stain lands on top, turning into a torso. The combined zords land onto the Ferret and Slug zords, forming a complete megazord.] Tinjor: Owwie owwie owwie owwie! Rocky: Let's go, guys! [The megazord flies into the air and the Scallionzord turns into the wings.] All: Kimono Mega Scallion Zord/ Mega Kimono Scallion Zord/ Scallion Kimono Mega Zord/ Kimono Scallion Mega Zord/ Zord Kimono Scallion Mega! Timmy: OK, we have to decide on a name for this thing. [The megazord flies throguh the air.] Kimberly: Ok, leader, it's time for your plan. [The meagzord lands, and for no specific reason at all, the volcano shrivels up like a raisin and disappears.] Chris: That was... wierd. Timmy: I told you guys, all we needed to do was form megazord. KImberly: Hey, Tinjor, you OK? [Tinjor starts letting off several swear words in swedish.] --- [Youth Hostel...] Chris: What a totally unexcellent adventure. Alicia: OK, I don't know what the hckudsvjklsbhsfkhsfil is but I think I really want the sdiousiusboruslior. Bernie: Good choice. And for you, sir? Chris: I'll have the skjfshifhskfshlkbhs with a side of uadrgusagergrksgbrskldkj, if it's not too hard. Bernie: Certainly. Adam: I think I've figured out how that volcano shriveled up. Rocky: I really stopped caring. All I know is that our writers have digressed to the point of no return. [Audience cheers.] Gourmet Night: If I had known that that was a good thing, I would have gone over a long time ago. [Suddenly, Kimberly and Timmy come bustling in. Timmy is in his boxers and Kimberly is giggling like an idiot and none of her clothes are on straight. Both look like they came out of an earthquake.] Billy: Drae I even ask? Timmy: Please don't. Kimberly: (giggles) Chris: OK, quite honestly, that was the sickest thing I had ever seen, except for that bloopers reel where--- Kimberly: Don't go there. Timmy: Well, I need to shop for some pants. Adam: Knock yourself out. Chris: say, I wonder what ever happened to Tinjor? [They all wonder...] --- [In his sacred temple, Tinjor is applying several layers of foot ointment onto his boots.] Tinjor: They may have gotten me that time, but I swear, I shall make them PAY for what they have done! The Power People only have a short time left to live, because the next time they see me, they had better be prepared to die a death of the most horriblity possible. [You're a being of good. You can't harm other beings of good. Besides, you're their friend, remember?] Tinjor: Oh, yeah. THE END?