Gourmet Night presents...

* B e e t l e   B o r e s *

"Wolfhanger Gets Fixed"

[Millburst mansion.  The monsters are fighting and arguing again.]

Tangula:  I still say it's your fault!

Hums:  Oh, what do you know you prissy, ladies-underwear-wearing vampire 
reject?

Tangula:  More than you know.  I know for a fact you're being kept 
together by DUCT TAPE!

(Little Fool)(From the grate):  Hey, shut up up there!

[Blabber bounces in and sits at the desk.]

Blabber:  What in tarnation is going on?

Hums:  We have got to get Wofhanger fixed!

Blabber:  Fixed?  What's wrong with him?

Tangula:  FIXED, you blue-pasted plastic man!  Wolfhanger has so many 
illegitimate children, the child support people are planning to do us 
in!

Blabber:  Oh  (turns into Edward Scossorhands).

Hums:  Get serious!

Blabber (normal):  Oh, what can they do if you're already dead?

Hums:  Still a lot, you know!  We could get sent to hell!

Blabber:  You've been there?  What's it like?

Hums:  It's better than this.

Blabber:  So why doesn't one of you just go take Wolfie to get fixed?

Tangula:  It's not that easy.  I can't be in the direct sunlight...

Hums:  I smell...

Tangula:  Little Fool locked herself in the furnace again, and 
Hanknjeans is off getting his organs rotated.

Hums:  Perhaps... one of the kids can do it for us!

Tangula (eerily):  Yes... that would work... and afterwards we can thank 
them by eating them...

Blabber:  Now I normally don't do this, but it's for Wolfie...

->-#

[Boom Mind-Degrading Comics.  Moo is reading several issues of 'Busta, 
Goddess of Death'.  Hoe is looking through the Beetle Bores comics (they 
still haven't sold a single one), and Boring is looking through an adult 
magazine, claiming to be reading the 'magic' article.]

Moo:  Wow, Busta is so cool, I bet she can get every man.

Hoe:  Then who is that other girl who travels with her.  I always 
thought they were lesbian lovers.

Boring:  I was hoping for that.

Moo:  That's nasty.

Hoe:  Not as nasty as when the Stagthemups stole your underwear so they 
could make the ShabbyBorg from your boys.

Moo:  Thank you, I had JUST forgotten that entire thing.

[Suddenly, Blabber's head appears on one of Boring's magazine's 
centerfolds.  he opens it up the full way.]

Blabber:  Guys, I need you to come to Millburst.

Moo:  What is it now, Blabber?  Another one of Mucus's monsters?

Blabber:  I'll explain when you get here.  Just go.  (disappears).

Boring:  That sounded serious.

Moo:  Eh, it always does.

Ohno (entering):  Boring, I thought I told you to stay out of daddy's 
private stash (starts whacking Boring repeatedly with a BeetleBores 
comic.)

->-#

[Millburst.  The Beetlebores arrive on their bikes.  Boring noteably 
cannot sit down on his.  They enter.]

Moo:  Blabber?  We're here, now what's the big problem.

Blabber:  We need you guys to help us.  One of you has to take Wolfie to 
the vet to get him fixed.

Moo:  That's it?  We could use our Skinning beam and be done with it.

Tangula:  We would like to keep it in the hands of professionals.

Boring:  Noteably, you've never met Rentalville's doctors.

Moo:  But who's going to take Wolfie to the vet?


Someone else